I cant sleep because I just keep crying, I feel like Im breaking down.
Im so hurt and angry.
The anger has just multiplied so much over the last couple of hours.
Im so angry at Michael because he rejected me. I felt I wasnt as good as his girlfriend was. And that hurt my ego.
But Im even more angry at how much he lead me on, he promised we’d be togethor, he promised.
But all along it was a lie, all those times I was asking for him back he was just fucking this bronwyn critter and telling me “we’ll be togethor baby, when im ready. Let me sort my life out”
I put in so much effort to get him back, waiting in the cold for hours and crying on his doorstep. Writing him messages. Thinking of the things I’d do when we were togethor. But it all just got thrown back in my face.
He had no intention of being with me and was just using me all along.
I feel stupid, I feel hurt, I feel angry.
I wish Id stop thinking about it but I cant right now, I want to go to his house and hurt him so much.
I want him to say sorry to me, I want him to tell me he’s a prick. I want an apology for being such a waste of space.
I want him to tell me he’s horrible.
I just dont know what to do anymore 
Its been over 3 months of him and me not being togethor and yet he’s still the major person in my life.
There isnt any love left. But there is just so much hurt and pain that i wasnt good enough.
Me, the girl that he had for over 9 months. Who is 10 times more attractive and interesting than his girlfriend of 2 months couldnt get back.
Thats what hurt me so much. It really got to me.
And now im balling my eyes out.
I wish I wouldnt think of him, why did I have to meet him.
Why did I ever fall in love with him.
All this wouldnt be happening if I never went out with him.
Fucking hell, I hate his guts and yet Im crying so much over him.
He’s destroyed me.
He never even cared. I was nothing. NOTHING!
My first love and I was nothing to him.
I hate him
I hate him
Fuuckkk WHY???
I never want this to happen to me again
It hurts
